It’s what I’ve done over the last 10 months. I’ve made changes. I stopped caring for people and things that weren’t giving back. I stopped writing for up-front money because I just didn’t enjoy it. Instead, I focused on me. I did me. I did this in my personal life and in my blogging life. It has felt good. It has reaped rewards. It has opened new doors and closed others that weren’t so good for me.
A friend of mine once said that some of the choices that she was making at the time, and the way she was acting, made her think of a song. “What song”, I asked. She did more than tell me the song. She quoted the lyrics. Here they are. (Sorry if you can’t relate.)
“I know way too many people here right now
that I didn’t know last year, who the fuck are y’all?
I swear it feels like the last few nights
we been everywhere and back
But I just can’t remember it all
What am I doin’? What am I doin’?
Oh, yeah, that’s right, I’m doin’ me
I’m doin me
I’m livin’ life right now, mayne (man)”
Yeah, that’s right, it’s Drake. I’m not a big fan, either. When my kids were growing up this dude was on Degrassi!
Anyway, back on point…
I have cut off certain people in my life.
I’ve been more open to different people entering my life. Most have been good and give back something that I need. No matter what people think…I need them and I’ve been riding the wave of pleasure that they provide.
I’ve chosen not to allow people to control my life or bring me down off the natural joy I feel every day.
How does all this relate to Blogging?
Well, first, I’ve made changes in my outlook on blogging and how to make money doing it. I’ve gotten rid of Google Adsense (well, they got rid of me!) and I’ve changed my mind on what “works” with blogging for money and what doesn’t work.
If you want to read the catalyst for all this change, you can actually read a small sample of it on another site of mine at Life After the Army. I don’t want to talk about that here on BTFDs, though.
I’ve realized a few things in the last 10 months about myself and I’ve taken measures to ensure that those things, or traits, are always present.
- I want passion. I want to feel passion in my personal and online life.
- I want to always to be happy. (I know. So does everyone else.)
- I love to give and no one will tell me that I shouldn’t.
- I’m not always right. In fact, I’m mostly wrong, and have realized I get most things right on the second or third time around.
- I like to be the center of attention.
- I want to blog and make money, but mostly I just want to fucking blog and be read!
- Love comes from unusual places and true friends are developed over time. (And they ALWAYS got your back!)
- Single, married, alone or in a group-in the end all, I need is my bird (Boom Boom) and an internet connection…and I’ll be just fine. (Coffee, smokes and some scotch are just icing on the cake!)
Here are some of the steps that I’ve taken:
- I’ve eliminated bad influences in my life. I don’t talk, and am no longer close to, people that I thought I would always be close to. I mean we’re talking about my mom, some good friends and my wife here, so that’s a pretty big step. This goes for my blogging life, as well. I’ve totally eliminated negative people from my life. If you say it “can’t be done” then I don’t want you around me.
- I’ve surrounded myself with people I enjoy. People like my closest friends (Melissa, Angel, Mark, Ralph, Joe and Christine/Eric), my daughters (G-Money, JessGisselle and J-Dawg) and some very influential and brilliant bloggers have helped me progress in life over the last year and I will never be able to tell them how much I appreciate it and what they’ve meant to me. As far as positive blogging influences: Felicia, Lynn, Pat, Lee and Curtez have meant the world to me. They make me want to keep writing and learning about this online money making thing every single fucking day!
- I’ve explored stuff that I didn’t like or believe in before. This is especially true with my blogging. I am into new niches that I truly have a passion for. I like Blogging Tips for Dads because I think that it may help other new bloggers along the way. However, when I write about topics such as military retirement, military spouses, struggling with residual online income and Android apps, it’s a truly different and pleasurable feeling.
Other, Smaller, Things:
- I stopped drinking (forcibly!) and started again…haven’t died yet! YAY!
- I stopped working out for 30 days (because I thought I was having a heart-attack every time that I did!) and started again…and haven’t had a heart-attack yet. YAY!
- I fell out of love with people who didn’t give me value back. I feel in love with others that truly were medicine and whose company I truly enjoy and never have to fake interest in -#taz
- I pretty much stopped blogging for about 3 or 4 months and only READ about blogging…and didn’t die!
- I opened my mind to things that may, or may not, work. I said “fuck it” when it didn’t work. I worked harder when it did work. Military Wives Central, Android Apps and Life After the Army are all examples of my growth online.
- I’ve learned that there should be a blogging “boot camp” before anyone is allowed to purchase a domain and start writing blog posts. (Not a bad idea for a blogging eBook, actually!)
- I’ve learned that selfishness is not the way to go. If you “feed” or give to the ones you love and truly care about then the reward is mostly inside yourself and truly fulfilling. No one can take that feeling away from you. This goes for: blogs, Boom Boom Muise, #Taz, friends and myself. (Thanks for reminding me, Lynn!)
My best ideas will not always work. Someone else’s ideas, no matter how mundane and boring they seem at first, are true gifts.
And that’s it. I think I’m done here.
Why this post?
I don’t know. Maybe it was purely therapeutic. I think mostly, though, it was about CHANGE and GROWTH. If you want to make changes. If there are things or people in your life that piss you off, or bring you down, then get rid of them. If you can’t get rid of them, then learn to let it roll.
Above all else, listen to Drake, and just “Do You”. It’ll pay off or it won’t. It doesn’t matter. You’ll feel better in the end.
Make Babies. Make Blogs.
Blogging Dude, Out!